"I sent an email to Santa today. But I can't tell you what I asked for...you'll have to email Santa yourself."
"I really don't like your attitude, mom."
"Um, mom. We need to do this pattern: I sleep with you, then I don't sleep with you. That is the pattern that I like. So I need to sleep with you tonight, okay?"
Why are you so cute?
"Because you got me that way."
"You are only 23 and grandma is 50. So she is in charge."
"WHAT. THE. F*CK!"
(That one caught me by surprise. First time cursing...preparing me for teenage years)
"I want to keep you with me forever, mom."
"I am a kid, so I can use whatever bathroom I want."
Why didn't you put a rug down before you got in the bath?
"Because I am not an adult."