Quiet In My Town

Words.

I have been struggling to find the words that can describe this extreme internal growth I have been going through.  Coming to Texas was essentially about finding and loving myself, but I never actually thought that it would work. I only knew that I had to try.

Finally, I have found peace and clarity in a life that has been surrounded by drama and disappointment. It took five hundred miles and two months of near solitude for me to realize that it is not my fault. For me to realize that happy endings are not handed to you. We grow up with these stories of tragic heroes enduring pain and being rewarded with passionate marriages, beautiful children, a fulfilling life. A Cinderella life where a tortured soul gets a big break and lives happily ever after.

But there is no happily ever after. There is no moment when divine happiness has been achieved. Marriage. Children. Jobs. Schools. Winning the lottery. These are monumental and joyous occasions, but too often we bear the burden that these things are the "happy ending" to our story. That they somehow magically end the struggles in life, and that one happy moment can fill a lifetime full of happiness, no mater what is thrown your way.

Life is full of both tragedy and happiness. There is good; there is bad. And sometimes life just...is. The people in your life. The friends that you make, the love that you find, the lives that you create, those are not guarantees of your happiness. No single moment defines a life, for better or for worse. What matters, what truly matters is how we put the pieces together. How we connect the catastrophes with the blessings and look at them both with supreme satisfaction knowing every single piece, every single event, though confusing alone, created an unfathomable masterpiece: you.

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