Someone like you.

7.05.2011

The phrase "you cannot help who you fall in love with" always seems like a silly statement. Until you find yourself swooning over somebody hopelessly, without regard to the consequences or the inevitable ending. Until you find yourself still in love with a man who proposed to a Hooter's girl and broke your heart with his compulsive lies. And it is hard to decide which hurts worse, the lying or the fact that you still have hope. No matter how small or fragmented. Hope still remains in your heart that maybe he will change his mind. Maybe one day he will love you. Maybe one day he will change. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Maybe one day I will wake up to the reality of this situation. Slowly, I am grasping it. Bits and pieces. I can see the situation as a whole and realize that I chose to love an asshole. I chose to let him play me. And play me. And play me. And play me. I chose to let him mistreat me. Degrade me. Warp me into a lesser version of myself. And no matter what good come of our "relationship", it could never possibly out weigh the everlasting damage that it has done.

I am not even finishing this entry.

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