Walk on the beach

I am a mom. That is the most important role in my life. But that alone does not define me. My biggest struggle over the past three and a half years has been making half-assed attempts at finding out who I am, besides "Oliver's Mom".

I think most of the difficulty comes from the constant judgement and high standards that come from people. And by "people", I mean "other moms". Especially as a young mother, I always felt like I was under a microscope 24/7 and people were just waiting for me to mess up so they could say, "SEE! This is why teenagers having babies is so bad! They don't know how to be parents."


And truthfully, I doubt I had all of the skills that make a truly good parent. I read all the books, I was extremely mature about it, but I was far from perfect. Sometimes, I just made it up as I was going. I loved and cared for my son to the best of my ability, and it was pretty damn good if you ask me.

More and more, though, it seems like we are living in a world where being good isn't enough. Trying isn't enough, especially in terms of motherhood. If you are not absolutely flawless than you are a failure. You have to know everything, do everything, and look like a Goddess while doing it. Well, this mom always wears a uniform of leggings and a tee. And don't think I won't walk right into the toy store when I missed my shower that day and think nothing of it.

Not only do you have to be a perfect mom, but you have to love and enjoy every freaking second of it, too. God forbid you ever think that your kid is driving you bananas. No. When they are screaming their head off in Target, that is supposed to be the greatest moment of your life. Right?

Wrong.

About 98% of the greatest moments in my life are associated with my son. And almost all of these moments have happened when we are alone or in the company of family. It doesn't get posted on Facebook or the Internet or videotaped on MTV. Most of what goes on with motherhood goes on behind closed doors, which is why I find it frustrating that other mom's get so judgmental. Why must we all put on this facade of being perfect parents? I see it all the time. People pretending that every single moment of parenthood is some joyous walk on the beach. Now, if some parents actually feel this way and it isn't just an act...TELL ME YOUR SECRET. Please.

Otherwise, stop making the rest of us feel like assholes.

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