"To find a prince, you might have to kiss a lot of frogs."
Comparing the guys I have talked to/dated to frogs is an insult to frogs every where. Frogs are just slimy, smelly, and gross. They aren't going to pretend they like you and use you for money or sex. They wouldn't lie or cheat (though this is mostly because they cannot talk and would probably need to be kept in a cage for safety purposes). Nonetheless, I would welcome a frog to ask me out on a date.
I honestly did not even realize how difficult dating as a single mom was until recently. Sometimes I forget that I spent most of Oliver's first two years of life basically with another person by my side the entire time. And now that he is gone, the whole "dating" thing is catching me off guard.
Perhaps I am just too lazy, because I don't want to put the effort into finding somebody. I usually just cling to guys from my past. That is the easiest. I just fall back into old habits, rather than moving forward and doing the work of "dating". This has led me to realize lately, that I have no clue about dating. I have been in relationships, but I'm not sure I have ever dated.
I mean, I was only eighteen when I had my son. At that time, I had only been in two serious relationships and gone on a few awful dates. Then I spent the next three years going back and forth between Dustin and "dating". My experience during that time was terrible, and I literally learned nothing except that I was not a fan of dating.
It really just is SO difficult to be a young, single mother trying to find love in this world.
1) Where IS he? I mean, where am I supposed to go to find a guy my age. I refuse to pick them up in clubs/bars, because I find that repulsive. There aren't a lot of 20-something guys that frequent the places that I go. So I don't understand where I am supposed to go to MEET all these "amazing men who are out there" waiting for me (you know you have heard this before!).
2) Online dating makes me want to kill myself. Not really, but close enough. Seriously. I love the idea of being able to sit around in my leggings and t-shirt to find myself a man, but in reality, NONE of these guys are worth dating. I am not shallow or conceited, I don't think, but I do believe that I deserve a good-looking guy that I am attracted to that isn't a raging asshole. I swear, the guys who turn to online-dating are not what I'm looking for 98% of the time. And the other 2% that I would consider dating, have no interest in me. SCREW YOU PLENTY OF FISH!
3) Dating a single mom means taking out the trash. I'm not like other 21-year-olds. I don't live in dorms or with my college friends. I live with my toddler. The man that dates me has to somewhat step up in the role of husband and father, to a certain extent. Sometimes I need help taking out the trash and building furniture. And I always need a man who is going to treat my son like his own. I can't even imagine how overwhelming this is for guys.
4) A relationship with a single mom can be scary. I have a child. I have started my life, so I am not going to be looking for something without meaning. Obviously, things are always going to seem so much more serious. I don't think this is something a lot of guys my age are looking for. To settle down already, with a kid that isn't even theirs.
So, I just don't even try most of the time. To find something worth my time anyways. I have not been on a date in almost a year. And the whole idea of going on a date freaks me out. Can't we just skip that whole awkward first date situation? And the whole "dating" part of the relationship? I just want to meet somebody and it magically be a fairy tale.
That is what Disney promised me.
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