Let's hear it for married moms!

8.16.2012

I have been a very single momma for quite some time now. I do it all: take out the trash, pay the bills, cook dinner, raise the kid, go to school, bring home the bacon. And constantly I hear people saying, "I don't know how you do it by yourself. I could never be a single mom!"

Maybe I have just been in this role for so long that it has become second nature to me, but I definitely find myself being in awe of married young mom's. When I think about the time and commitment that it must take to be a mother and a wife, it exhausts me.

I have never been married, but I assume it takes work to keep one going. And not just a little work. As a married parent, you do not only have one important relationship, you have multiple: with your child(ren) and your spouse. As a single mom, I am not worrying about finding "us time" or how to communicate better with my partner or the million other things that come along with a marriage. I have no arguments, no disagreements, no distributing finances. It is just me and my little guy. While I do go through everything alone, there isn't the stress of a relationship on top of everything.

Another thing that I cherish as a single mom is weekend visitations. I get to spend two weekends a month child free soaking up silence and sleeping in. This is something single (co-parenting) mom's are used to but when you are married, both parents are typically in the home. While it can be hard to say goodbye to the kiddo for two and a half days, spending every second of the past twelve days pulling my hair out and waiting for my head to explode make it a little bit easier.

I know married couples often don't get many chances to go out. They have to rely on babysitters, friends, or family members in order to get a nice quiet evening at home or out on the town. And while there is still two of them to divide responsibilities among themselves, I can't really imagine not having every other weekend to clear my head.

So in all reality, I think married mom's deserve WAY more credit than they get. The job of motherhood is challenging no matter the circumstances, but I don't see my job being any harder or any easier. But I believe it is important to recognize how amazing mom's are on both sides of the relationship status.

2 Responses to “Let's hear it for married moms!”

  1. hey just found your blog off earlymama. i am also a young single mama in college (this is my first semester being a parent) and i am inspired to see that you are a senior! if i have some spare time (yeah right haha) i will for sure look back at your archives for some tips!

    also.. i often feel thankful that i am not married. i do not think i would be able to put any time or energy into another relationship at this point in my life. its not a perspective you hear much...

    Cecilia

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  2. @Cecilia

    Don't you just love the Early Mama blog?! I know I do. Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving a comment. It means so much to me! I love hearing that there are other young single student mom's out there, and I'm glad you feel inspired by the blog :)

    Also, thank you for making me feel sane about this issue lol. With everybody around me getting married and engaged...everybody thinks I am crazy when I say I couldn't even IMAGINE being married. Or in a relationship really. They are SO much work.

    Good luck and school! And good luck with the little one.

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