Throwback: A Letter to My Son

8.23.2012

I have decided to do a "series" of throwback blogs on Thursdays, in which I post things I have previously written on different sites. Throughout my entire pregnancy and teenage motherhood, I have kept various records of my thoughts and emotions. Whether on Facebook, Myspace, or previous blogs, I figure the words I wrote are still powerful and important, and I wanted to share them with everybody.

This is a letter I wrote to my son almost two years ago on September 1, 2010. At the time, he was two and I was twenty. Rereading this made me tear up and every single word remains true.




Dear Oliver,

I remember the first time you moved inside my belly. I was sitting in my high school computer class and felt this unusual flutter in my stomach. Being unexperienced in the pregnancy department, I thought I was having gas or contractions. I Google-ed it and discovered that I was actually feeling my baby move for the first time. I teared up, right there in the classroom. Getting pregnant with you was not something that I had ever planned on. You were this unexpected bout of joy that was thrusted into my life. But being a mother to you has been the greatest two years of my life. I've watched you grow from an itty-bitty baby with your wrinkles and priceless facial expressions to the young boy that stands in front of me today. Every single moment I am blessed with your smile, your warmth, your hugs, your kisses, your love, is a moment that I would not trade for anything in the world. I'm not saying that you are a perfect child nor that I'm the perfect mother, but you are everything that I could have hoped for in a son.

I know that you get mad a lot because I don't let you "help me" with my homework. Since the last time you did, you drew all over the walls and my notebooks. But I hope that you someday understand I'm doing all of this for you. I want you to be able to look back upon these moments and remember that you were my inspiration to better myself. Remember that you did not take away my dreams and ambitions but rather multipled them to unimaginable degrees. I hope that someday you look back on this and are proud of your mother for the things she accomplished by your side.

I unconditionally love you, Ollie. Not just by saying it or showing it with the millions of hugs and kisses we share every day. But in a way that I don't think I will ever be able to explain. In a way, that despite its already tremendous volumes, continues to grow each and every day. You have a smile that lights up the room, and a personality fills it with laughter. You are hands down the single most greatest thing in my life, and I will spend the rest of my days on Earth reminding you of that.

Love, 
♥Momma

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