Throwback: One month old.

8.30.2012


I have decided to do a "series" of throwback blogs on Thursdays, in which I post things I have previously written on different sites. Throughout my entire pregnancy and teenage motherhood, I have kept various records of my thoughts and emotions. Whether on Facebook, Myspace, or previous blogs, I figure the words I wrote are still powerful and important, and I wanted to share them with everybody.

This is a blog I wrote on July 8, 2008, the night before my son turned a month old. At the time I was eighteen years old, about to start community college, just found a new job, and was trying to rekindle my relationship with Ollie's father. This seems like an entire lifetime ago!



Ollie will be ONE MONTH old tomorrow. How crazy is that? He is getting so big, too fast. I can't believe how strong and smart he is either. I'm sure you are like "EVERYBODY thinks their baby is like, THE greatest". But, seriously. Ollie is actually the greatest. His new favorite thing is smiling, which he does quite uniquely. I'm not really sure how to explain it. But it is absolutely adorable! Trust me.

Today Oliver and I went to Legends for the first time. We went to Carter's, Old Navy, and Target. Both of us got swim suits and outfits for Isabela's FIRST birthday party. It was exciting! Or, at least it was for me because my life is super boring these days. But I'm slowly getting used to it.

I GOT A JOB! I watch kids who live down the road from me. The little boy Alex is too cute. He is 18 months old and such a doll. I could handle about 87 of him without a problem. Now, the little girl Catie is another story completely. She is four and thinks that she is Oliver's second mother. Which would be fine if she wasn't FOUR and an itty-bitty thing. When I worked on Sunday, I put Ollie down for his nap in the spare bedroom to make dinner. I hear Catie coming into the kitchen saying "I think Oliver wants to..". I turn to see this TINY girl CARRYING MY NEWBORN BABY across the kitchen TILE. Let me tell you, I freeeeeeeaked. It definitely through off my groove for the rest of the evening. After the night was over, I was so glad that I had a boy instead of the little girl that I wanted at first. Thank. God.

Matt and I are trying to work things out. We are getting along pretty fan-freaking-tastic. So, that is always good. I'm sure everybody is wondering "WHERE did THAT come from?" And, in all reality, I couldn't even explain it. I don't know what I expect to come from us being back together. I guess I really don't have any expectations. But, I can't deny that there seems to be something there still. And I realized that I just make excuses as to why we can't be together. I don't know. We'll just see how things go. I hope Matt and I will always be the best of friends, because I really do care about him so much.

Oh goodness, I feel like crying. I'm so thankful for my life and the people that are in it. Being on my own is hard, but at the end of the day I wouldn't change a single thing about my life. There is nothing I enjoy more than laying in bed with my son all day. So, I don't have the normal life of an eighteen year old. I don't go to parties. I basically don't go out at all. But, one smile from Oliver makes everything okay.

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