Dancing on my Own

A majority of my life, I have been scared of being alone. Ever since I hit puberty and got boobs, everything was always about boys and love and boys. If I wasn't in a relationship, I was actively searching for the one. Or quite honestly, anyone. Being with somebody always seemed a better alternative than being alone.

Because of this, I was constantly settling for less than I deserved. I was allowing losers and douche bags to come into my life and take a giant crap on it (metaphorically, of course). And at the end of the day, it felt like I was doing something wrong.

Over the past couple years, I have learned how to be by myself. More and more I have adjusted to being independent and not needing a man to complete me. This was honestly really hard for me, after spending so many years running scared from the idea of being alone. I embraced the alone time. In fact, I have begun to enjoy it.

I do not let being alone stop me from doing anything. If there is something that I want to do and I don't have anybody to do it with me, I do it all by myself. Movies, road trips, dinners, bars. I could not even tell you the last time I went to a movie with somebody besides my four year old.

Now, I find the pleasure in being able to go to a movie alone. I absolutely love it. It gives me time to enjoy myself and my own company. Typically I take myself on dinner and a movie dates about once a month. Or more! I figure, if nobody else is going to take me out, I owe it to myself to do so!

I have also done really huge, crazy things alone. For my twenty-first birthday, I went on a Texas road trip...by myself. I didn't really have any friends. My 21st birthday "party" literally consisted of going to Dave and Buster's with my dad, his girlfriend, my son, and my older sister. How pathetic is that? Well, I knew that there was no way I was going to have a shitty TWENTY-FIRST BIRTHDAY! So I had planned an adventure. I rented a car and drove to Texas! I spent a night in Dallas and went to the World's Largest Honky Tonk.

Then I spent an evening in San Antonio. It was my first time there, and I fell in love. San Antonio is probably my favorite place in the world. I saw the Alamo and got the best Mexican food ever on the Riverwalk. And then, I went to Coyote Ugly (have I mentioned that I am doing this all alone?). I drank (something I never do), and I even got up on the bar and danced. Honestly, it was the time of my life. I should mention, that this is all extremely rare for me. I never go to bars, and I certainly don't dance in front of people. But I mustered up my courage, and I swear to you....I became besties with the Coyotes by the end of the night!

I think it is really important as women to realize how much we are worth without somebody by our side. And a great way to do that is to really spend time with yourself. Enjoy being alone. It really isn't the end of the world. And under no circumstances should you use being alone as an excuse not to do something.

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