Boys Don't Have Boyfriends (& Other Things I Refuse to Tell My Son)

My son is quite the character. At five years old, he already has the great sense of humor and dashing personality that I acquired during puberty. It is refreshing to see him embrace who he is at such a young age, and he makes no apologies for his larger-than-life nature. Sometimes it is hard to believe he is only in kindergarten.

As a mother, I have really tried to cultivate his odd personality rather than force him to conform to the norms expected of a little boy. I wanted him to be who he is meant to be, not who society wanted him to be. So this meant letting him play with baby dolls, buying a deluxe Barbie playhouse, and encouraging him to shake what his momma gave him.

Shortly after starting kindergarten, I saw my son "flirting" with a sweet, blonde girl in the school pick-up line. (I use the term "flirting" loosely, because he is only five!) So as we walked to the car, hand-in-hand, I asked if he had any "girlfriends" at school.

"Yeah! I have three girlfriends: Madison, Taylor, and Jordan," he told me, matter-of-factly, without looking up.

I start jokingly giving him a lecture about how he is only allowed to kiss his mom and that he better not be kissing any girls at school. As I buckle him in his carseat, he reassures me that he won't and then drops a bomb on me. "I have a boyfriend at school, too!" he nonchalantly mentions.

Now, I understand that we are talking about five year old's who may-or-may-not understand terms such as "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" in the actual context. But it still really caught me off guard for him to talk about having a "boyfriend", and my first instinct was to tell him that boys don't have boyfriends. I started to form a speech in my head as I closed his door and got in the drivers seat. He just needed me to explain the difference between  "friends" and "boyfriends".

Then I remember what it felt like to grow up thinking that you had to be a certain way. You had to wear dresses and like boys and get good grades and be polite and stay thin and not deviate from what everybody else was doing around you. I looked at my little boy in the back seat, and I didn't want to ever make him ashamed for being himself. No matter what.

Still in the school's parking lot, I turned around and gave him a huge smile. "No kissing boys either, mister!' I told him. He giggled and did the typical sigh and "Okay, mom" that you would expect from a teenager. We carried on with our day as if nothing was wrong with him having a boyfriend, and I was really proud of myself.

However, I know that not everybody feels the way I do. In the rural area that we live, people don't really accept those who are considered "different", and their disapproval usually passes on to their children. My classmates teased and bullied a boy so badly for being gay that he stopped coming to school. As a parent, I never want my child to have to endure that type of pain, but it becomes hard to know which is the lesser of two evils: do you let your child hide who they are or get tormented by other kids?

For now, I am just happy and proud to have a sweet, charismatic little boy who knows no matter what, his momma loves him. And that is enough.

1 comment :

  1. bạn tốt nhất của ngươi.”
    Diệp Âm Trúc con mắt sáng ngời, “cám ơn ngài. Bệ hạ.”
    Tây Nhĩ Duy Áo mỉm cười nói: “gọi ta là Tây Nhĩ Duy Áo thúc thúc đi, anh hùng của Mễ Lan. Bắt đầu từ hôm nay, ngươi có thể tùy tiện ra vào thư viện này. Nơi này là thư viện hoàng gia đế quốc, chỉ sợ là thư viện hoàn chỉnh nhất bảo tồn các loại sách cổ trên đại lục. Ở chỗ này, ngươi nhất định có thể có được tri thức mà ngươi muốn.”
    Diệp Âm Trúc tâm địa đơn thuần, cũng không suy nghĩ nhiều tại sao Tây Nhĩ Duy Áo lại đối với mình thân thiết như vậy. Chân thành nói: “Cám ơn ngài, Tây Nhĩ Duy Áo thúc thúc.”
    Tây Nhĩ Duy Áo đưa một cái huy chương cho Diệp Âm Trúc, “sau này trở lại thì đưa cái này ra. Tự nhiên sẽ có người mang ngươi đến nơi đây.”đồng tâm
    game mu
    cho thuê nhà trọ
    cho thuê phòng trọ
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    số điện thoại tư vấn pháp luật miễn phí
    văn phòng luật
    tổng đài tư vấn pháp luật
    dịch vụ thành lập công ty
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    chém gió

    Diệp Âm Trúc cúi đầu nhìn, phát hiện huy chương trong tay mình giống như cái lúc đầu Hương Loan, Phí Tư Thiết Lạp mang ra, đúng là tượng trưng của Mễ Lan hoàng thất, huy hiệu Mễ Lan hồng thập tự khiên.
    “Khoa Ni Á thành tạm thời là lãnh địa của ngươi, nơi đó mặc dù thuế thu không cao. Nhưng đối với hiện tại mà nói thì ngươi cũng đủ dùng. Là thành chủ Khoa Ni Á thành, ngươi có quyền lực được đặt tên, ngươi muốn gọi nó là cái gì?”
    Diệp Âm Trúc suy nghĩ một chút, nói: “vậy gọi là Cầm thành đi.”

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